Guilty
by derekngarcia
Summary: Emily feels guilty!


Emily and Hotch!

Guilty

Emily Prentiss stood in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. Hotch had sent her home early that afternoon, because she was sick.

She had insisted on staying and saying that she was fine, though they both knew that wasn't true, she wanted to stay at work whether she was sick or not.

She was a workaholic.

I guess they both had that in common. Hotch had sent her home for 2 days and she was annoyed with him for it. Even though she knew he cared about her.

She looked at her growing belly, she wasn't showing yet but she felt guilty. She had to tell Hotch but how? They hadn't spoken about kids.

She rubbed her belly soothingly, she didn't feel sick anymore but she called Hotch to let him know she was home safe.

A few days later – Valentines Day!

Emily and Hotch were in Emily's apartment, having a nice, quiet, candlelit dinner.

Emily was picking on her food, not feeling hungry and had her glass of water instead.

Hotch looked over at a quiet Emily and frowned, knowing something was on mind 'what's wrong Em? You've been quiet, all dinner and all day' Hotch asked, concerned.

'Nothing is wrong Hotch, I am fine, and I'm having a great day. Are you okay?' Emily replied softly, rubbing her belly.

'I'm fine, I'm just worried about you, it's not only today you've been quiet, it's the last week or so, it feels like your closing down on yourself and shutting me out' Hotch told her. Emily opened her mouth to say something but he quickly added 'I just want you to know that I'm there for you. I won't push you to tell me' he said softly, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Emily returned the kiss and then told him 'babe, I don't want you to feel like that, I know you're going to support me, I don't even know what's wrong with me' she said tears in her eyes.

'Hey, hey nothing's wrong with you. Just talk to me when you're ready' Hotch told her, taking her hand.

Emily got up and went to sit on his lap; burying her head in his shoulder he kissed her head. 'I love you' Emily whispered into his ear 'please don't ever leave me' Emily whispered sounding haunted.

Hotch frowned, he lifted her chin up, making her look at him. 'Hey, I love you too Emily, I won't EVER leave you' Hotch told her. 'Let's go sit over there' feeling her nod, he kissed her head and she smiled, getting up.

They sat down, Emily turning round so she could face him properly. She took his hand in hers and the other was on her tummy.

'What's going on babe?' Hotch asked, she was upset and he wanted to go through it with her, whatever was bothering her. He wanted to help her but she wasn't saying anything.

'I'm pregnant' Emily said quietly, looking down.

Hotch's eyes widened and his mouth opened, he was in shock but he still managed to wrap his arms around her. He smiled, feeling extremely happy, this was the best Valentines present he had gotten.

Emily looked up at Hotch's face, scared of what his reaction could be, but her worries disappeared when she saw how happy he looked.

'You're happy' Emily said, relieved.

'Happy? I'm more than happy babe, this is amazing news. I love you and this baby so much' Hotch said, still smiling and put a hand over her tummy.

'Aren't you happy Em?' Hotch asked, since she was still quiet. It made him nervous.

'Yea of course I'm happy' Emily said simply, not looking him in the eye. She still felt guilty.

'But?' Hotch asked, carrying on her sentence she hadn't started yet.

Emily bent her head down, starting to cry, not being able to stop the tears from flowing down her face. Hotch put his arms around her, rubbing her back and Emily put her head on Hotch's shoulder. 'What is it Em? It's okay to tell me' Hotch said softly.

Emily took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, 'I want… this baby so much… but I feel guilty Hotch… I don't deserve this baby' she told Hotch quietly, still crying another tear running down her cheek.

Hotch was going to ask why she didn't deserve this baby, because he knew she did but then realized and he felt bad. 'Aww babe, you do deserve this baby, more than anything in the world'

'I wanted and still want my other baby too Hotch, but I had to have an abortion, I was only… I was only 15' Emily sobbed. 'So I really don't deserve this baby, not if I got rid of my other baby, how is that fair? I couldn't let one of them live' Emily told him.

Hotch felt bad for Emily, he could understand roughly what she meant but he didn't know how it felt and that was the difference, he couldn't say anything to comfort her or change her mind. But she still deserved their baby no matter what. 'Baby, I don't know what to say or what I can do to change your mind but I still think you deserve our baby, no matter what you say or think… why don't you think of this baby as a second chance' Hotch said softly.

'But I don't… I don't deserve one' Emily said sounding so broken it broke Hotch's heart and put tears in his eyes.

'Yes Em, you do, okay and you are going to be such a great mum' Hotch told her softly.

Emily stayed quiet, her tears slowing down, thinking about what Hotch had said, trying to convince herself that he was right and she nodded after thinking deeply, saying 'I hope your right but I still feel guilty, I always have and I always will' Emily said quietly, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

Hotch smiled and said 'I know, that's understandable. I am right…' Hotch rubbed her back soothingly 'I love you. Everything's going to be okay' he whispered.

'I love you too' Emily whispered back.


End file.
